I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
