ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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