remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
