I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I looked at my own cervix.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
