I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't deserve a penis
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
