There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
