Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
