your parents love me but you hate me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
