Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
