best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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