So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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