He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
