Whod you bang
I wanna bring you to show and tell
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
