Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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