i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
