Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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