I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
