In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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