Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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