Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
