That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
