I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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