lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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