Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
