my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
