I am puke
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
