if you like me you must not know who I am
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
