i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
