Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
