I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he fucked my hip out of place.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
