He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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