so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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