Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
