if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
