you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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