Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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