You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
