dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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