SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
