hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
