you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
