Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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