He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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