Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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