just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
and she was petting her beer can
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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