but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
