I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
