I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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