I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
