guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
