No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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