HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think people are normalizing furries
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
