The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
