omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We need to get me chipped asap
COCAINE IS GR8
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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